didnt went home straight.. walked around my neighbourhood for a while.. alone. thoughts went through my mind. couldnt get what went wrong exactly earlier. looked around, looked up into the sky. full moon was right up there. with a bright glowing star by its side.. the sight was pretty. for a moment, it cheered me up a little. but it didnt last long.

thought of quite a number of things while strolling..
friends who were once so close, drifted apart.. saw each other yet exchanged no words, just smiles.
will friends at present last forever?
family in trouble yet there's nothing i can do to help.
sisters as usual give me headaches, could it be my lack of discipline and concern for them that leads them to who they are now?
he's troubled yet i cant read his mind.
term tests are coming and i am not at all prepared.

i wonder. will i ever smile again.. even if i do, would it be real? would it really reflects what my true feelings are.

what a failure am i. i sucked in every aspect. be it a friend, daughter, sister or her.

my everyday is a mess. hell

Yposted @
11:27 PM

i know i should be studying but as usual well i'm not studying. i feel dicouraged after i read PCT notes because i dont understand any shit. sigh sigh sigh
anyway i decided to get my own blog (out of boredom) and i'm still thinking about my blog name.anyway..today is a very hot day and there's this someone who keeps on irritating the shit out of me. so so irritating (no no he's not jeffrey)
i miss my brother so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


Gracecia

Yposted @
5:50 PM

it's been 5 years and 7 months babe. thats a freaking long timeee.


you know i've been feeling irritated by someone.only lately okay. and its really bad because she's my friend and i like her.buttt i dont know why i feel this way.is it my problem or hers?i dont know.haha


Gracecia

Yposted @
10:13 PM

i wonder how many of you actually felt this way.
if you message someone and the person replies without symbols such as full-stop, comma, exclamation, question mark, etc. would you feel that person is pretty rude? or he or she doesnt really care at all.
(no offence here. just feel like voicing it out.)
well.. personally i feel so. i would think that this person dont feel like talking to you or something.
haix. and sometimes it could really dampen your whole day. well.. esp when those ppl are the ones you care alot about. and they do this to you.

but.. sometimes such persons cant be blamed. cos they may have the habit of not putting any symbols, and that's their style. but still.. i feel weird.

but what really is the issue here is that when those people who dont usually do this do this. uh-huh! then there must be a problem. but it's really hard to understand the situation. you wont know why. sighs. humans are really complicated creatures.


a random pose by a random one.

Yposted @
7:21 PM

wat a boring and tiring week it was. fri was e worst day. we were actually rushing 4 quiz. one after another. with only 2hr 45mins of slp, i survived e day. wasn't really tired during lesson time. start 2 feel sleepy only on e way hm. e less u slp e less sleepy u will be. tts y i can survive with so little slp for yrs. haha...

going work tml. last working day b4 term test bah. and term test is like two wks later!!! time flies. one term is ending soon. wat am i going 2 do during term break? work thru out? not possible. hahaha. i wan go ren ci! shld be thinking abt term test instead of term break bah. haha. alrite, nth's gonna stop me frm meeting my juniors 4 lunch next week.haha..unless there's smth more impt. oh yah. news says e contact lense solution have problem again. and it's always e brand i'm using.

and ppl. blog leh. u guys r making me appear 2 be such a frequent blogger. haha...



drained.
-Aili

Yposted @
11:12 PM

arhh.. hell. think i'm gonna die from all these soon.
so many things to do sia. yet so little time.
sian.
how i wish i could just fall sick so i can sleep a full whole day through.
i need a break badly. havent been sleeping well.
guess thats the reason why i cant pay attention during lectures.
half-slept through almost all lectures. or rather all...
missing out so much. sian.


khim

Yposted @
12:45 AM

i'm an unlucky person bah...no matter how many times i told myself i won't be tt unlucky. luck does come to me. maybe not today or tml but eventually it will. however lots of things had proven me wrong. juz as i tot things was doing well, something discouraging will always take place. e most disappointing one is my bro. haiz...perhaps he will nv noe how we feel bah. my parents can look like nth had taken place. but i can't. it's not possible 4 me. additional 2 this, more things r coming...watever it is...i got stm ya. : )

alrite, let's put aside all those emotional stuff. my family and i had sushi 4 dinner. : ) home-made sushi. haha...of cuz it isn't up 2 e standard. but wat matter most of this sushi making session is tt it does strengthen family bond. and i like this kind of stuff. : ) and we went 2 GIANT @ tampines in e morning. long time nv go shopping 4 grocery with mum and dad le. today can be considered as my family day bah. haha.

here's e picture. lol.

this boy was trying 2 say 'blood'. hahaha.

ok. got 2 do my csas now. which is on tue!!! haha...bye everyone. : )

-Aili

Yposted @
9:03 PM

ok. today's so not my day. everything's freakingly pissing me off today.
aunt came over to my house in the morning. as you know, two mothers together, there'll definitely be no peace. nag and nag and nag. complains and complains and complains. loud, louder and even louder. i woke up cos it was too loud. cant go back to sleep. then my dad came back. three adults this time round. gosh..

was doing my fpath stuff. and the stupid laptop's so idiotically slow. and it really pissed me.

then my sister, kept pestering me, irritating me while i was doing my work. mum, aunt and dad kept raising their voices over some trivial matters. you know, when one is really angry about something and other things kept coming by, it can really get very irritating.

come to think of it, i noticed i raised my voice for quite a number of times.. at my sis, my mum, at everybody. something i'd never done before, esp to my mum. and now i feel so bad. didnt meant to do that. i'm sorry.

went over to my grandma's house in the late afternn. that guy, my uncle, said something nasty to my sister. i shouted at him. was really angry cos it was really nasty. think what i did kinda freaked everyone who was there out. cos i seldom shout at anyone. gosh. but i'll never regret for shouting at him. he deserved it. you'll never forgive him for what he said really.. and worse of all, he's not even apologetic for saying it. i walked out of the house after that. i needed a breather badly. walked around, went to the library. then back to my grandma's house when i felt better.

i really felt i was at the lowest point of my life. almost cried for all that happened. as i walked alone earlier, i wished a car could just run me over as i crossed the road and end my life there. that was a foolish thought i know. but it really did came across my mind. haix






khim

Yposted @
1:09 AM

Yposted @
9:38 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! KHIM!


hope u did enjoyed e birthday surprise. : )

alrite, i have 2 do my stuff le. lazy argh! AILI! JIAYOU!!! hahaha.

-Aili

Yposted @
8:24 PM

smth funny happened today. main lead was Huang Yan. and e supporting lead was Alfred. hahaha. u noe huang yan will wear this mic during lab. then e mic was hooked onto alfred lab coat unknowingly. so alfred continued walking like nth had happened. and huang yan was like chasing after him..hahahaha..tt scene was so funny.

alrite, i've got quite alot of things 2 do.
1. my FPATH
2. PCT log book.
3. bchem lab report
4. bchem tut ws
5. CSAS research
6. copy my AIMM notes. . .
7. buy my hp case
8. buy pen and maybe a new file.
9. finish my '12 steps to better memory' bk.


my FPATH grp is weird. we will nv have meeting. haha...cuz everyone in my grp is so busy lah. so can't blame me if i don noe e guy's name. lol. so we will always pair up and do a part. even between pairs there's no way 2 meet up. so we r so high-tech can. online de leh...lol.

alrite...tests and quizzes r coming in. and csas is next tue. tt's fast k. haiz...


* thankx angel : ) *




-Aili

Yposted @
9:54 PM

yeah!!! can blog already! woohoo!! thanks alot aili!! =D
mann.. i miss blogging here. LOL
ok.. let's talk bout yesterday. took back our aimm tut quiz.
damn. i got 7 out of 15. almost cried. was damn sad.. first test and i failed.
and when i got home, the house was in a mess, mum was nagging. had tut quiz the next day.
so.. i went out and studied initially alone at the library near my house.
was cheered up at the end of the day. thanks to his accompany. (:
oh and, thanks alot wei juan! for sending me a msg that really cheered me up too. (:

oh great. had aap tut quiz today. damn. i studied the wrong topic!! so.. bound to fail it. know like nothing can?? wrote nonsense just to fill up the blanks to make everyth on the whole seemed nicer, as though i knew how to do.

went jogging at bedok reservoir today. ran for like 2.0km non-stop for 14 mins and then stopped when i cant take it finally. nvm. shall try again next time. hahah. will do better i hope. (:

ok.. yay!! so happy.. 2 more days and i'm 18!! yay!! hahaha

oh dear. results for ppl who are in for modern dance will be up tmr on the notice board. gosh. i'm scared. hope i can get in..

alright. shall end here. (:

take care people!

Yposted @
11:49 PM

CUT-ED HAIR.HEH.
WHICH MAKES MY FACE LOOK ROUNDER.
PFFFT..



UOH.
HAPPY BELATED MOMMA DAY !
GIVE MY MOTHER NOTHING.
DUNNO WAHT TO GIF LARH.
HMMM...
OK. I THINK TAHTS IT.
:P

Yposted @
9:17 AM

alrite, i'm back : )
i juz need somewhere 2 write ya. so juz read and 4get or don even bother 2 read. it's nth nice.

got depressed once again. things happened. things tt saddened me. things tt made me feel inferior again. things tt made me lost confident. u guys shld noe one of e thing. but there's this matter, which i totally couldn't accept.
it's my bro. he did smth which i seriously couldn't accept. he did told me b4. but i didn't took it 2 heart. but since tt day...i saw it with my eyes. i was utterly dissapointed. sad. real sad. and angry. and on tt day which e other thing happened, i cried. don't wish 4 history 2 repeat. he did witness tt history too. but he's juz so insensible. there's really nth i could do. if i talk 2 him abt tt, i might cry 4 smth he feel tt it was nth. he's a nice bro i muz admit. he does buy things 4 us occassionally. and he was e 2nd guy who carried my bag 4 me. 1st was my dad. it might be nth 2 u ppl, but this act of his did touched me. pls realise it urself and stop. pls.

i will smile. @ least i will try. but if i failed 2, pls pardon me. i didn't meant to.



-aili

Yposted @
10:43 PM

can blog le!!! haha.

do this:

1. click on tools>internet options (which is on e top of e explorer window.)
2. then click on the connectivity tab
3. click on LAN settings button
4. check the "Use a proxy server..."
5. click on 'advanced'
6. Under HTTP type, input "proxy.singnet.com.sg" for proxy address and "8080" for port
8. Click on "OK" button 3 times to confirm changes




long time no news de
AILI.

Yposted @
3:40 PM

Yposted @
12:10 AM

0713AM.
WHO THE HELL BLOGG AT THIS HOUR,WHEN THERES NO SKOOL?
ONLY MAISHARAH.

EYYY.
SO LONG NEVER BLOGG HERE.
SO LONG NEVER C U ALL.
SO LONG NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU ALL.
DIDNT GO JALAN WITH KHIM N AILI WHEN THEY WERE LIKE SOOO NEAR TO MY HOUSE TAHT DAY.
STOOPID CRAMS.
AND YOU ALL COMING DOWN TO JURONG EAST IS LIKE VERRY RARE.
OR NEVER AT ALL.NYEHAHA.
OK.MAYBE EXCEPT AH JUAN LARH.

SO WHEN ARE YOU GUYZ COMING DOWN AGAIN?HEHZ.
ARE YOU GUYS HAVING TEST ALREADY?
IM MISSING A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENING AT TP EY?
OK. DEFINITELY IM NOT MISSING MY EX-SCANDAL:PAUL LARH.HURHUR.
UOH. YOU THINK HE WILL EVER READ THIS BLOGG?
NAAAAAAAAH ~

OK.
SO IM NOT WORKIN ANYMORE.
JUST WAITIN FOR NAFA TO TELL ME IF I GET IN THE SKOOL OR NOT.
DID THE TEST ALREADY TAHT DAY.
WAS PRETTY SHITTY FOR THE SECOND PAPER.
BUT I'LL JUST HAVE TO PRAY HARD NOW.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT NAFA.


LIFE NOW IS LIKE SOOO effing BORING LARH.
OBVIOUSLY WORST THAN SKOOL LIFE.
NOTHING NEW ENTER THE BRAIN.
MOST OF THE TIMES YOU FEEL EMPTY.[IM NOT EMO-ING]
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU ARE AT SKOOL, YOU HAVE CRUSHES SO SKOOL LIFE WONT BE TAHT BORING.
BUT NOW IM MOSTLY AT HOME,
EVERYONE IS LIKE WORKING AND SKOOLING.
ONLY YOU AND YOUR COMPUTER AND FOOD AND WEIGHING SCALE.
NO CRUSHES.

UOH.TALKING ABOUT CRUSHES, I STILL HAVEN MEET MY P3 FRIEND.
IM STILL THINKING ABOU HIM LA OK.
I THINK THERES A REASON WHY I THINK ABOUT TAHT FRIEND EVERYDAY SINCE 15FEB07.
SO TAHT I WONT DIE OF BOREDOM.
AT LEAST GOT HIM TO THINK ABOUT.HEHZ.
I JUST WANT TO GET TO KNOW HIM AGAIN, IS TAHT WRONG?
MAYBE IM HOPING TOO MUCH EY?
HE'LL NEVER REMEMBER WHO IS MAISHARAH.
SUDDENLY I REMEMBERED TAHT WE WERENT TAHT CLOSE.
SO, WHY THE HELL AM I THINKING ABOUT TAHT STOOPID FRIEND.

I DONT WANT TO BE CRUSHING ON ANYBODY ALSO.
FOR WAHT IF ITS ALWAYS HEART-BREAKING.
OKOK.
SHUTTUP ALREADY.
IMBORED DOING THE SAME ROUTIN EVERYDAY.
TAHTS ALL.HEHZ.

SO. GO OUT SOON?

Yposted @
7:13 AM

i realised i already make aili angry/sad twice.haha shit.i'm so bad. sorry aili :(
hm i'm suppose to study biochem now because i have to do the tutorial.but yeah you all know la. i already studied the 1st chapter btw.haha but i guess thats the easiest chapter of the lot so it doesnt count!so anyway i went to parkway again,haha with my grandparents. i really want to buy the nike shoes but they dont have my size la damn sadd.
i've been so grumpy towards jeffrey these days.haha but its okay because he's used to it.
i havent do log book because its very stupid.just ask caroline.
i havent been playing maple :( sad sad sad
i'm listening to chinese emo songs.haha cannot stand it.i'm really very bored and sleepy but i won't sleep before i at least read biochem chapter2.
hmm.going to watch bridge to terabithia on saturday haha i studied that book for literature in sec 1 leh! and i got an A for it.haha
weikhim called me just now and she laughed at me because i spoke in chinese to my godmother! what is this weikhim!
and lately i have been thinking about B again.what is this man. it's weird really. it's like i know i dont really like him.but i also think i like him.haha that makes to sense like totally.i'm not saying i dont like jeffrey anymore but well . this is very hard to say.
so i saw this girl waiting for someone to fetch her.so her car came and i thought it's her brother who's fetching her.then she went into the car and they kissed.walao eh.lucky shit man her bf got car.!i mean she's young.reallyyy.
school's being such a bitch lately.i'm always sleepy whenever Mr Kok opens his mouth. my head fell down like 3 times in 45 minutes(i tried to act cool whenever my head fell but well aili always noticed). he's my sleeeping pill.oh Mr Quek also. Huang Yan also. aiyah everbody la seriously.
hmm.what else okay thats it i guess.

Gracecia

Yposted @
12:35 AM

WAH LAO EH. I'M SO PISSED AT FPATH.

I THOUGHT WE DECIDED ON HAEMOTOLOGY ON CASE 3? WHY DID IT BECOME CYTOGENETICS FOR GOODNESS SAKE?! AND WHY WASN'T I INFORMED ABOUT THE CHANGE? AND IF I HADN'T BOTHER TO DOWNLOAD I'M STILL GOING TO BE IN THE DARK!

THIS IS JUST CRAP.

TOTAL CRAP.

WHAT FOR DISCUSS WHEN YOU'RE STILL GOING TO DO IT YOUR WAY?

I'M NOT ANGRY AT THE LOSS OF THE 10 MARKS IF ITS WRONG (I'LL STILL BE PISSED EVEN IF ITS CORRECT).

I'M JUST VERY PISSED AT THE LACK OF RESPECT BETWEEN THE GROUP MEMBERS.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS THIS MANZ... TOTALLY SHITTY.

Yposted @
7:29 PM

i cant believe i did that.
my expression shows it all man.
i hope nobody noticed anything just now.
it will be bad if anybody noticed it.shit why am i so dumb?


Gracecia

Yposted @
8:18 PM

i watched zhi zhu ren 3 today!hahahaa
it was nice except for the part when everyone clapped when spiderman came.it was damn extra haha.and the newscaster(how to spell) too.
but i like it still. i like harry la walao he's so cute i cant stand it!! Ronaldo is damn hot too. (Link?) haha no link.
ok thats it.

Gracecia

Yposted @
2:22 AM

AHEY! i'm bored i'm bored!!! haha. today's thurs and tml's fri. e 2nd wk of yr2 is ending soon. lessons r still not going according 2 e timetable. long long breaks popping out of nowhere. i don mind those breaks actually...hahaha. tml's lesson only 3hrs and it starts @ 2pm which is e laziest moment of humans. haha.

got 2 noe some of e classmates le. especially those whose register is juz a little bit b4 me. till now, we r working tgt 4 e FPATH and PCT lab. and there might be more 2 come. sch's boring. quizzes r coming in.

SATURDAY IS COMING!!! muahaha. so happy. noe y? guess bah. lol.

pro table tennis players. lol.






-Aili

Yposted @
11:59 PM

Sorry humans, not sure why I'm feeling this way.
My apologies to all..
Ever since I joined the club, my life seems to be fully devoted in it.
I dont spend much time with you guys. And is hardly around with the clique.
I certainly miss all the times we get to seat down, lunch-ed and crap together.
Feeling pretty drifted away from the clique, sorry for not putting in extra effort to meet up with you guys more often.
Sometimes I'm thinking I might just run out of things to talk with you all.
And being in different class makes things a little worst.
Certainly upset with myself..
Cause I want to be part of you guys once again.
Sorry for my MIA-ing.

Main comm wannabe?
I'm having serious doubt on everything.
I'm losing time for myself, family... certainly my friends....

Take care humans..

liwei

Yposted @
10:07 AM

hello everyone haha its Fpath again.this explains the sudden post.my group is done with the discussion but the rest are not done yet.see la my group is very efficient haha.
anyway i did my biochem tutorial last night! am i hardworking or what. haha i can do it because Aili and I went through it with Caroline in school.hoho. anyway i just realised yesterday that i dont understand anything about biochem la wth!haha so Caroline taught me as usual..haha
so my granparents and my father came back from HongKong yest.haha my grandpapa looks well ah but theyre going to the hospital this morning to do some check up.then my aunty also came last night from Indo to take care of my granpa.so yess. nothing much happened. i've been playing maple every night because of 2x exp.i have to stop now because i already skip 2 lectures in 2 weeks.!!! wth.
okay la Ms hor's going to lock up already

Gracecia

Yposted @
9:58 AM